We're 4 weeks into 2023 and I know when a new year starts we set our eyes on who we want to become.
But we sometimes forget that in order to evolve into the next version of ourselves, we have to let go of the parts of us that don't serve us anymore and that are keeping us stuck.
To be clear, this is not about judging ourselves for past mistakes we made or past versions of ourselves that no longer resonate with us.
This is about showing gratitude to those parts that helped us at one point in our lives, and lovingly releasing them so we can move forward and align ourselves with our higher vision.
So what do we need to let go of in order to become our leveled up selves in 2023?? Catch the second half of the list below (if you didn't listen to part one, take a pause and click here!)
If they were ever going to work, they would have worked by now. The stats are undeniable, in the long run diets actually cause weight gain, not weight loss. Not to mention they cause disordered eating, all-or-nothing thinking, and dis-ease in the body.
If it seems too good to be true, it is. If it has you lose weight fast, it's not sustainable. If you have to give up all your favorite foods, you'll never stick with it. And if it demonizes entire macronutrients, it's ignoring the body's foundational needs.
Just say no. Instead say yes to balance, slow and steady habit change, and realistic expectations.
I promise, anyone and everyone you admire, whether you look up to them because of their success, their relationship, their health, their mindset... they did not get there by playing it small and safe.
Now I know there are a million reasons we stay small: sometimes we're afraid of the risk, sometimes we don't feel worthy of playing big, sometimes we're afraid of being seen.
So we have to start at the root and dismantle those beliefs one by one.
Life is risky, there's no way around it. So be smart about it, take calculated risks, but sometimes you've got to just take your shot and go for it.
When I started my business it was a huge risk. I had just barely enough clients to cover my most basic bills when I left Equinox, and a lot of the senior trainers there thought I was an idiot for leaving.
But I knew it as a calculated risk. I was good at what I did, I was constantly educating myself not just on fitness but on business development, and I knew I would show up for my clients in a way that many trainers wouldn't. Almost 8 years later and I'm still standing.
And as far as not feeling worthy or not wanting to be seen, remember these 2 things:
#1. Nothing is required of you to be worthy of your dreams. You are worthy simply by existing, so stop waiting for permission to go after what you want.
#2. No one is thinking about you as much as you are. So while you may be stressed out about people 'seeing' you, they aren't judging you a fraction of the amount you think they are because they're too busy worrying about what other people are thinking about them.
A lot of times we create rigid rules and structure in our life to protect ourselves. And in certain situations that can be great!
For example, I have a rule that my kitchen has to be clean before I go to bed. This protects me from waking up and immediately feeling stressed and frazzled by the sight of a messy kitchen that I then need to find time to clean when I'm trying to get my day started.
That's a rule I'm perfectly happy sticking with.
However, I also for a very long time made it a rule for myself that I would only sleep with a man I was in a committed relationship with.
This was definitely a protective mechanism. I was scared if I 'gave it away' I wouldn't worthy of committing to, I was scared of drawing in the wrong guy by being 'easy', and I was at the end of the day afraid of letting go of that control.
And only recently did I realize that while that rule served me during a time where I was drawing more toxic relationships to me, now it's just a way that I keep a block up when I meet someone new.
So now I take it on a case by case basis, which is allowing me to explore and experience relationships in a different way and it's allowing me to evolve and learn more about myself within that part of my life.
I recently went on a date with a guy who I really liked. I mean really liked. I've been single for over 2 years and haven't felt that kind of chemistry in ages.
And I immediately found myself trying to taper down my excitement because if it didn't workout I'd be disappointed.
And then I realized... it doesn't matter how much I try to suppress how I'm feeling now. If it ends I'm going to be disappointed either way. So I might as well enjoy the shit out of this high, and know that I have the tools and strength to deal with the hurt if it does end.
We spend so much time robbing ourselves of joy because we're afraid of the crash after. When the truth is anticipating the crash is basically like having to live through it twice.
Hurt is inevitable in this life, so we might as well lean into excitement and optimism and happiness any time it comes our way.
I had a new client recently come to me extremely trepidatious because she had tried so many diets and they had all failed her. Just by the way she spoke to me I could see she was highly skeptical, and then she asked, "If the program doesn't work can I stop early."
This is what 'not getting out hopes up' turns into. We stop getting in the game altogether. Or we do get in the game, but we just barely dip our toe in and then wonder why things don't work out.
We need to get our hopes up, we need to be excited and hopeful. That's what allows us to play bigger and win bigger in the long run.
Life looks so different when you take radical responsibility for the role you play in it.
Making excuses for why you don't have this or can't do that completely disempowers you from making any changes in your life.
But how do we stop making excuses when they feel like such real roadblocks?
First of all, remind yourself that there's always someone who has it worse than you who's making their dreams happen. And there's always someone who has it better than you who is making even more excuses for why 'they can't'. So this is inevitably a matter of perspective, not reality.
Also I'm a huge fan of the statement to Question Clap Back. This is where you clap back at your excuses with a question.
This looks like:
"I don't have time to workout." >>> "Where am I wasting time in my day?"
"I can't cook." >>> "Where can I find easy recipes for beginners?"
"I'm just not motivated enough." >>> "What do I do on a regular basis that I don't 'feel motivated' for?"
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